It's a Potty Not a Pool!

Drew has been in rare form today. He's hit sister with sticks, threw gravel at her, ate dog food out of the dog's pan and picked up fossilized dog poop. In case you're curious, he said dog food tastes like broccoli. As if all of that is not enough mischief for one little boy in one day, I just pulled him out of the toilet. He said he needed to pee pee and poo poo, so I let him potty while I fixed a little bag of whole wheat crackers for them to take as a snack, while they played next-door at Allen's mom's house. In the time it takes to put a few crackers in a bag, Chloe starts yelling "Drew's in the potty," and laughing hysterically. Sure enough I went in there and he had his skinny little self sitting in the potty. I just shook my head in disbelief and removed him from the pot and put him in the tub. If you find life to be a little boring, just adopt a little boy; you'll have a constant source of amusement. I would advise that you get one that is already potty trained.

Life is Like a Dirty Diaper

Life is a lot like changing a diaper. Sometimes you get started and expect one thing and you get a surprise, a huge, make your eyes water, stinky surprise. So what do you do? Clean it up and get on with it, and before long it is reeking again.

Don't Touch my Elbow!

Children are so exhausting. I love them so much and they are the most meaningful, wonderful things in my life, but some days I am so relieved when they go to bed and I can have a few quiet moments to myself. Tonight I put them to bed at 8:00pm and I felt like I was going to explode if they didn't go to sleep immediately. I thought Chloe would never stop rubbing my elbow. Yes, I said rubbing my elbow. She has this weird habit that really irritates me. She rubs, holds, pinches, kneads and just generally grinds my elbow into a meaty pulp every night while she is going to sleep. (It really isn't that bad but it does get on my nerves). It started when she was a tiny baby, just found her hands; she would hold my elbow and fall fast asleep. It was great; anytime she was tired all I had to do was say "Here sweetie take mommy's elbow" and she'd latch-on and go fast asleep. It isn't so wonderful now that she is almost four years old and still rubbing elbows. I guess I should try to break the habit, but I keep hoping she'll just outgrow it. Thankfully Drew doesn't have any weird sleeping rituals except that he rolls all over the bed until he finds just the right spot and then he goes sound asleep and I can move him wherever I want. (Except back in his crib, which will wake him up faster than anything). I was so careful to teach him to only sleep in his crib and he was so good about it until I went back to school and started spending three nights a week with my parents. I don't have a place for him to sleep there, so he has to sleep with us; therefore, once we go home it is impossible to get him in his own crib. I really enjoy them being there with me. Anytime I wake-up at night I look over at each of them and it makes me so happy to see there sweet sleeping faces. Nights are so peaceful it helps to offset the chaos of the day.

Today, for instance, they missed nap and it was just craziness from that point forward. They took a lamp shade completely apart while I was cooking supper. Drew hit Chloe with a match box car and Chloe hit him in the head with her shoe. I made them both stand in the corner. Andrew tried to squish Simon the cat by sitting on him. They were jumping up and down in the recliner and trying to climb over its back. It was just one thing after another all afternoon. The best time for me, was outside playing; except for having to remind Drew to stay away from ants, they listened pretty well. Going outside is my sanity break so many days. If they are wrecking the house we put on shoes and socks and go outside. They play with the dogs or Bob the cat, swing, dig in the sand or play king of the mountain on this head-tall gravel pile we keep by the dog kennels. What am I going to do when it gets too cold to go out? I've just got to move somewhere that stays warm all the time.

Funny Stuff Chloe and Drew Said Recently

Buzzard is bird but not like parakeet. (Andrew)

A T-Rex would eat already dead people. (Chloe)

That dog look like pig. Fat, fat, fat! (Andrew)

Grandma, if you keep eating like that you're going to have a big fat belly like my daddy. (Chloe)

Look mommy that lady has her nose pierced. Why would she want to do that? I bet it hurt! (Chloe)

You mean Chloe; you no share. You just a pee wee head! (Drew)

Grandma, you lay down and be a dead dinosaur and I'll be a scavenger dinosaur. (Chloe)

Me want my naked baby!!! Me give her spank and say put clothes on!! (Drew)

Mommy, in that mermaid movie, he told her she was hot, but it wasn't hot like you've been outside playing; it was hot like you love somebody hot. (Chloe)

Mommy, Jamy said this was a boobie but I told her it was actually a nipple. (Chloe)

Supper and a Bath

I've sunk to a new low, or maybe I should say I've expanded my time management skills. Tonight I was running behind as always. We stayed outside and played when we should have been indoors eating supper, so what did I do? I fed the kids while they took a bath. They loved it and there was no mess for me to clean off of them, although the the strainer in the drain was a bit messy, and there was that incident with Chloe spitting-out a bite of chicken and Drew eating it, but I'm trying really hard to forget that part. What I fed them for supper was a bit unconventional as well. Deli sliced chicken, sippies of orange juice and a cup of yogurt. They ate veggies really good at lunch and a lot of fruit for snack this afternoon, so nutritionally it was pretty good. I think I'll try it again the next time I fix spaghetti, or maybe not.

Mom

I love my mother dearly. She is one of the sweetest, kindest, most gentle people I know. She should be eligible for saint hood with all that she has endured from my dad, myself and don't forget my brothers. Other than my children there is no one on the planet to which I am closer. I've always admired her patience and just general good nature, but lately I've noticed that I'm turning into her; minus the super patient, incredibly sweet part. When I look in the mirror I see her more and more. I look down at my hands and there she is again. When we are together we can finish each other's thoughts and will even have the same funny comment for any given situation. I'm okay with being a lot like my mother, just so it stops there. I don't want to wake-up one day and suddenly notice that I'm taking on my grandmother's traits. So, if you get a call from me one day and I tell you that I heard an ambulance and it sounded like it went in your direction and I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay; then you know that I've turned into Frances.

Clutter Clutter Everywhere

One day the headlines are going to read "Man found dead in pile of clutter. Wife is the prime suspect". Further investigation will find that he died as a result of a cave-in and was crushed by his own junk mail. Okay, maybe it is really not that bad, but I just spent one hour straightening the bar and dining room table. I do this every couple of months and swear that I'll never do it again because it is almost all my husband's crap, but inevitably I will need something that I cannot find. (In this case it was registration papers for the cats; I've been anxiously awaiting DNA test results on them and I wanted to be ready when I get them back so that if they are negative for PKD I can send the stuff off, come up with a cattery name and prepare for kittens in a few months. Sorry about the long kitty explanation, but I'm really excited about them.) Anyway I got really frustrated that I couldn't find the papers, so I cleaned up his mess once again, but this time I swear I won't do it again, that is until I really need something and break under the pressure. Less than a year ago, I made an office for him with nothing but our computer, file cabinets and a long table for all his stuff and what did he do? He cluttered up the entire room and once again it began spilling-over into the kitchen onto the table and bar. He barely has room to eat because I push it all to his side of the table to make room for me and the kids. Maybe I should push it onto his plate and he could just eat it that is about the only way I'm going to get him to clean it up. How can he rant and rave at the children for not picking-up after themselves when he can't even do it? Sometimes I just want to scream.

He came in just after I cleaned-up his mess and of course he didn't notice because he's blind. Ha! I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of the visually impaired, but I have to live with one, so I have the right. It can really be pretty funny. I can flip him off and he never knows or stick out my tongue or mouth some smart ass response and he's none the wiser; of course I only do these things when the kids aren't around. Anyway, he had been to town with his nephew and he brought me a present. Guess what it was? A pooper scooper to use with the dogs. There was once a day that I would have been disgusted and ticked-off by that present, but I was actually proud of it and felt that he was being thoughtful. My life has REALLY changed since marrying and having children.

My Daughter and Husband Fought Over a Can of Coke. Who is the Bigger Child?

Children really change a relationship. Before we had children Allen and I rarely argued and we enjoyed each other. Now we argue about the children frequently and really get on each other's nerves. Our fights are always about the children and usually involve me correcting him for losing his temper and cussing and yelling at them or saying something totally inappropriate like "That is really stupid; you're always messing up". It makes me so angry; I repeatedly tell him that if he criticizes and belittles them then they will become what he describes them as, but he just doesn't get it. Well actually, I think he gets it, but he just doesn't control him temper and thus his mouth. The funny thing is that he never loses his temper around other people except for around very close family, so I know that he is able to control it; he just chooses to say whatever pops in his head. He is continually promising to think before he speaks, and I must say that he is doing better, but it still happens. For instance, yesterday afternoon he gave Chloe half a can of diet (caffeine-free) coke and she was so happy because she rarely gets anything like that. He came by later and told her to give it to him so he could have some. She started crying and whining not wanting to give it up. He just exploded and started yelling at her about how he always shares with her but he wouldn't anymore and why is she so selfish and disrespectful; a simple can of coke shouldn't cause her to cry and carry-on like that..... She of course ran to me crying. I calmly explained to him that he was pitching as big a fit over the coke as she was and that was really only reinforcing her bad behavior. If it is okay for daddy to blow-up over a can of coke then she can too. I went on to tell him that she never gets a can of her own and she was simply proud of it and wanted it for herself. She is still only three years old and really tired from not taking a nap today. He agreed that I was right and that he hadn't thought about it that way. Then we calmly explained to her the importance of sharing and using words to ask politely when you want something all for yourself. Now mark my words, in less than a month he'll have a similar episode with one of them, as if he completely forgot the lessons of yesterday. (In the midst of all his yelling and fussing Drew scooted-over beside me on the couch and whispered "Me no lub daddy when he yells!"

I really don't know what to do about this problem. He says that they don't listen to him because I correct him in front of them that I should wait and do it in private. The problem is there is never any privacy and I don't want either child to think it is appropriate to yell and cuss at someone else. I don't want Andrew to grow up and treat others that way and I don't want Chloe to become a doormat thinking that men are supposed to talk to you that way; therefore, I say something to him about the message he is sending and what would be an appropriate way to handle the situation. Sometimes he listens and follows my lead, but often he'll turn the anger on me and we'll argue. I don't start many arguments, but boy I can finish one. Allen is no match for me verbally. I can rip him to shreds in a matter of minutes and he is apologizing profusely for being such a bad husband and father. Then of course I explain to him that he isn't a bad husband or father. He is usually very patient and kind; he takes up time with the kids, playing with them and teaching them things. He helps me around the house and really tries to do more than his fair share and I truly appreciate all he does. His temper and verbal responses just need more work. I really feel that it will get better as the children get older; Chloe listens better since she is older and he doesn't fuss at her near as much, so once Drew is older maybe he won't cause as many fights between us either. The only problem is; what kind of impact has the fussing and fighting already had on them.

My Sweet Tater and Little Tater Bug

My children never cease to amaze me. They are completely wild one minute and then so thoughtful and sweet the next. They make life so challenging and fun. I was really sleepy today because I stayed up to late last night and since the kids slept late this morning we were going to skip nap and just go to bed early. About 5:00pm Drew was just worn-out. He got his pacifier and blankie and went to bed. I went in and started his music and decided to lie down with him for a minute. He got several books and read to me. One book was "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and this was his rendition " Tiny hungy catpilla look food. Ate hole in pear; ate all dis stuff. Make cocoon. Beautiful buttafly!" After reading me a few more books he snuggled up beside me and said "Me got five big kiss for you Mommy" and he proceeded to wet my whole face with his sweet little kisses. Then he held my hand and closed his eyes. I fell asleep very quickly and woke-up 30 minutes later to find that Drew had laid down with me got me to sleep and then quietly got out of bed and went back to the living room to play with Chloe and Allen. What a thoughtful boy to put his mommy down for a nap.

Chloe was equally sweet tonight before bed. I said that the living room was a mess and she sprinted into action, picking-up everything she saw and putting it in its proper place. She even inspired Andrew to help. We had everything neat and tidy very quickly. When she finished she said "Now that looks better!"

She amazes me with all that she can do. She is so resourceful and smart. You only have to show her something once and she's got it. I'm so proud of you my lil sweet tater. When she was little and Drew was first born I called her my little sweet potato and he was my little potato bug. Chloe would say "Me mommy's sweeet tato and he's (pointing at Drew) bugggg. (She would put such an emphasis with an all important air on saying sweet potato and bug was said with a certain amount of disgust). She had a love/hate relationship with baby brother back then. She loved him one minute and wanted him to go away and let her have all the attention the next. She has come a long way in two years; now they play together and have so much fun (for the most part), but we do have our moments of screaming, name calling (Drew called her a pee pee head earlier today) and bouts of hair pulling and head-butting. And, there I am through it all like the ring master of a circus, or maybe I'm the tight rope walker, just barely teetering on sanity. Whichever the case there is nothing I'd rather be doing. Motherhood is so awesome; I'm really enjoying the journey.

The Other Night

Allen is a type I diabetic and has been since he was three years old. About once a month his blood sugar will drop at night and he'll be completely unresponsive. This happened the other night. He woke me up at 2:45am convulsing. I could not get him to respond. Then the shaking stopped and he was still and silent. This used to really scare me, but after so many times I've learned how to deal with it. I have to keep talking to him and he will finally respond, so after about 15 minutes of calling his name, slapping his face and pinching his arm he began to grunt a little and I could get him to turn his heard to the side and drink coke through straw. It took about 35 minutes to get a can of coke in him and for him to start talking normally. As bad as this sounds it is much better than when it drops and he is still conscious but not aware of what he is doing or saying. His mind gets stuck in whatever he was doing or thinking about before bed. One time a few months ago he had been wrestling with the kids before bed and when his blood sugar dropped he thought he was still playing with them. He grabbed me by the leg at 4:00am and began to drag me across the bed. I wrestled with him until I was exhausted; he wouldn't stop to drink a coke or anything, so finally I put one foot on his hip and one on his thigh and kicked him out of bed. He rolled around on the floor and wrestled with his pillow until he came to his senses and then he drank a coke and everything was fine. We have a new rule now; only quiet play or reading books before bed; no wrestling or playing bucking bronco. You should hear his mother and I discussing all the funny stuff we've been through with him. Although I must say that it isn't too funny at 2:00 in the morning.

Back to School

Time to go back to school and endure 12 weeks of microbiology; really cannot say that I'm looking forward to all the studying, but at least it is only 12 weeks. During every break my goal is to spend more quality time with my children, do some stuff that I enjoy and catch up on neglected housework. This time around I haven't done as much of any of them as I would have liked. I took the kids swimming several time, we went to the park to play, finger painted, read more books than usual and played outside everyday, so they have enjoyed my break. As for myself I started this little blog and caught up with a few old friends through email. The house of course was the one that didn't get much attention, but that is all Allen's fault. He hurt his back a couple weeks ago and has just gotten better to the point that he can start doing stuff around the house again.

Here I am on my last day of freedom and I'm trying to cram in everything that I should have done days ago. I don't even know what room number or building my lab and class are meeting. I'm so disorganized; it is going to be a long 12 weeks.

Infamous versus Famous

Some actors and singers deserve fame because they are truly talented and gifted; others are just infamous because of scandal and well planned marketing and publicity; we as Americans need to recognize the difference and be more discriminating in where we spend our hard earned money and our time.

Last night I was reading my friend Heather's blog and she was ranting about all the media attention given to that slime-ball OJ, and I just have to say that I totally agree. Why are the American people so obsessed with celebrities? Furthermore, why do we even make some people celebrities? For instance, that twit Brittney Spears. Now, I don't follow the lives of these people, but you cannot turn on the TV and flip through the channels without hearing about them. I was channel surfing and stopped to fuss at one of my children a couple weeks ago and there was Brittney parking her little sports car and bumping the car beside her. She jumped out and ran to inspect her precious machine and muttered her concern that it not be dented or scratched, but she never even afforded the other car so much as a glance, much less a note. That just really ticked me off, how self-centered can you get. I really feel sorry for her children; I pray that they survive to adulthood and not be scarred for life.

Someone also needs to give Miss Britney a lesson on modesty. Have you seen that clip from the VMA awards? She is scantily clad, sporting a major post-baby body. There is no shame in having a little jiggle around the middle after having a baby, but why wear something that so obviously shows it when you could wear something that actually makes you look sexy? I guess you just can't buy class or good taste.

Taking Time to Smell the Gardenias

About a week ago the Gardenia bush beside the steps of our front porch began blooming. I just love the way they smell; reminds me of weddings (and some funerals). I stopped both my children and told them to smell the flowers. They loved the sweet smell. I took the time just that once to stop and smell them, but my children stop every time we pass the bush, which is four or five times per day. That is one of the many differences in adults and children; we're always in a hurry to get everything done, but children only live in the moment and enjoy every little thing they experience. I make myself stop and enjoy the flowers with them now. You know it is funny; we have so much to teach them, so many little lessons; how to put on your socks, tie your shoes, write your name, but they teach us really big lessons. How to enjoy simple pleasures, laugh at silly things and how to love wholeheartedly. Thank you Chloe and Drew.

Drew, Drew What to Do?

My son, Drew, is legendary for his ability to tear things up or just make a huge mess. We've had bananas stuffed down air-conditioning vents. Dirty diapers removed while jumping on the bed. An entire bag of cat food spread all over the floor. Spaghetti smeared on the wall and then thrown across the room. No type of food can be left within reach or he'll open it, take a few bites and then proceed to stomp it into the floor or carpet; for instance, he took a bag of Cheerios last week and poured them in the floor then he proceeded to do the Mexican hat dance all over them while my daughter died laughing. Once her laughter subsided she came into the bathroom and told me that Drew made a mess with the Cheerios. I've lost count of how many toys I removed from the toilet and fish aquarium. Then there was that unfortunate incident at grandma's involving Drew and "gan-didty's" moo butter foot cream. Drew crawled in the corner behind the recliner and smeared thick lotion up to his elbows and knees; then the smeared it all over the floor. You should have seen him trying to get up and walk. He was a slippin' and a slidin'. Now we come to his latest, but not greatest destructive feat.

He just woke-up from a nap and destroyed my pillow, you know, one of those $30 memory foam ones with the nice little zipper pillow case. Well, he unzipped it; (I've never seen him even use a zipper); then he tears it into a million little pieces all over the bed. When I asked him why he tore-up mommy's pillow he said "Me don't know; me buy you new one". It took a long time to pick up all the little pieces, which was a good thing because it gave me time to cool-down and not be so angry. The funny thing is my husband was asleep right beside him the whole time. He is such a cute charming little fellow and so sweet with his big smile, wet, opened-mouth kisses and huge hugs, but he sure can be a devilish little rascal when the notion strikes him and it seems to strike daily.

He has started asking me "You know what?" He'll repeat the question until I answer "What?" Then he'll say "Me love you!" He likes to spice it up every now and then and try to rattle me by saying "Me no lub you!" and just giggling and laughing about it. He's got a very sharp little sense of humor. He picks up on anything that is funny and just giggles. I love you Drew, even though you are destroying everything we have. You sure do make life interesting.

Finding Time to Cuss the Cat

It is 4:30 in the morning and once again I'm wide awake because my all too considerate husband, Allen, got up at 4:00 and woke me up with his growling and complaining. I used to have a friend that used a bunch of really funny sayings; we called them "Sherryisms" in her honor anyway; one of them was "I'm so busy I don't have time to cuss the cat". That is not a problem for Allen. When he woke me up it sounded like he was in the kitchen and he used a string of expletives to tell our male Persian, Simon to go away and leave him alone. How can a simple brush against a leg and perhaps a little meow welcome, evoke such a LOUD negative response. Now, I could ask him in the morning, but it would only lead to an argument where I would call him an ill tempered, foul mouthed, insensitive louse and he'd call me a self-righteous domineering female (or know-it-all bossy bitch since he doesn't have the largest of vocabularies and it seems to be shrinking by the minute). Okay, I've just used this blog for what I said I would not, bashing my husband and this is only my third post! Oh well the barrier has been broken; I might as well run wild with it.

Allen, if you somehow manage to find this blog, be glad that I got up and typed this instead of giving you a kick in the rear, which was my original idea when you woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep!

Fun at the Park

This afternoon I took the kids to a local park that has a little creek with a cemented path through it that you can drive through. I can remember the days before the cement when it was just a rocky creek bed, but I guess that just shows that I'm getting old. Anyway, we got out and walked down to the water and I let the kids take off their shoes and wade in. They had so much fun; there were rocks on one side of the crossing where they could climb and sit; two year old Andrew was so proud that he could climb up there "by me self". Three year old Chloe was busy chasing little fish through the shallow water, giggling and smiling with long golden curls bouncing. Of course it wasn't long before wet feet and ankles was just not enough for them, so Drew began squatting and wetting more of his leg; before long his shorts were soaked; then there was this "accidental" fall that completed his soaking. When Chloe saw soaking wet Drew, she began splashing in the water and seeing how quickly she could get wet. Since both were wet (and a little dirty) I took them by the hands and we ventured into the creek. The water was so cold; they giggled and squealed with delight. I waded with them up to Drew's chest and then I made them get back on the pavement. It was a really fun afternoon. It was so nice being outside; the creek was surrounded by wooded hills, with the sounds of birds and squirrels, light filtering through the trees reflecting and dancing on the water and then the tranquil sound of water gurgling. Very nice; we just might have to do that again next week.

Thank You Glow-Worm

Every night I lie down for a few minutes with my children, Chloe and Andrew, to help them fall asleep. Last night they fell asleep very quickly; so tired from their day of being little busy-bodies. While they were sleeping soundly Chloe's little glow-worm was still playing music with its soft little light. Their faces were so beautiful and angelic in that warm cozy light. I had the most content happy feeling sweep over me; life just doesn't get any better than watching your sleeping children. I had to give Glowie another squeeze just so I could savor the moment and say a little prayer for them. There are lyrics to a song that goes something like "It is only for a moment you are mine to hold; Heavens plans for you will all too soon unfold....may my love give you roots and help you find your wings." I've only heard that song a few times but it so clearly states what I want for them; a good sense of who they are and the sacrifices that were made for them and, confidence that they are loved; all of which will enable them to soar. Its funny, we think we have to work so hard and have so much to be happy, but really all we need is each other. I thought this blog might help me to hold onto those treasured peaceful moments and little revelation so that I could reflect on them when life gets a little chaotic. Of course I'll use it for all the amusing not so peaceful, just want to scream at the top of your lungs moments too.