Okay, I know it has been a long time since I wrote anything here, and I had really good intentions of using this as a way to keep up with things that Chloe and Drew might enjoy one day, but life has just been so incredibly busy and complicated. I lost my father over a month ago (Nov 18) and life has not been the same since. You do not realize how important someone is to you until they are gone. I miss him so very much. Little things are so hard; walking through his garden, getting something out of his barn; even my beloved hikes in the woods are saddening. My first walk after his death was almost surreal; I crossed the creek and was reminded of my first memory of hiking with him; we had stopped in that very spot for me to play in a little rocky section, (I couldn't have been any older than Chloe) and I asked him how old was the creek and he answered as old as time itself, and then I asked would it still be here when we're gone and in his gentlest voice he said yes honey, it will. From there I walked up the hill and out in the open it was very windy and cold, difficult walking, but once I was in the thick woods; it felt warmer and I was sheltered from the wind. I thought to myself that a family is kind of like that stand of trees; you're right in the middle of it and you feel so protected and safe, but when one of those large trees falls, everything is out of balance and you're left with this huge hole to fill. Shortly after that thought I heard a loud crack and a tree fell somewhere out of sight. (What are the odds that I would think about trees falling and then hear one). I'm constantly reminded of him. I'm so thankful that I've had the last two years with him, almost on a daily basis. I enjoyed our talks at night after mom and the kids went to bed. Even though his mind was failing, he was still so wise and I valued his opinion on so many things. He made so many sacrifices for us; he worked for 35 years at a stressful job that he hated inorder to provide for us.

He got sick on the Friday before he died; mom and I both tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he refused; he passed out and fell in the bathroom about 2:00am that morning. We later learned that it was a mild heart attack, and the fall also probably damaged the large hernia that he had from his stomach surgery some five years ago. By Friday he felt so bad that he just couldn't stand it anymore, so he agreed to go to St Mary's. They admitted him and then he had another mild heart attack and the put him in ICU. I went to see him on Monday and he had audible fluid in his lungs and severe gastritis. I stayed with him until time to go pick up Chloe and Drew. I was very concerned about him. My brother Evan went to see him that night and we spoke on the phone, and he told me that he didn't think he'd make it through this; part of me knew it to be true, but I didn't want to accept it. Tuesday morning they called at 5:00am (family is not allowed to spend the night in ICU, so we were at home) and told us that he was in grave condition. He was sedated and on a ventilator. Seeing him like that was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I knew he would not want to be kept alive in that way. We took turns staying with him and I told him how much I loved him and how thankful I was for all that he'd done for me and that I wanted him to get better and come home with us, but that if he was tired and couldn't go on and ready to go then it was okay. At about 10:30am a heart doctor came out to speak with us and told us that his heart was in pretty good shape, and if some of the other problems could be resolved then he might pull through this. It gave a lot of us false hope and everyone but me and mom left to get some breakfast. Mom and I ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a quick pack of crackers and some juice and we went back up with him. We got in his room around 11:00 and he looked much worse; he was in atrial fib and his nose was turning blue. His nurse told us to call in the family. I called Greg first because he had the greatest chance of getting back and then I called Evan; he died with mom and I by his side; holding his hands and I was talking to Evan. I pray that he knew we were there and that he felt how much we love him. On the ride home from the hospital, someone on my Christian station said that God loves us just as much is our most painful difficult situations as he does in our joy, and I must say that I've felt His love through all this and now my earthly father is with our Heavenly Father and I'm so thankful for all that God's blessings.

Kermit (aka Sam Bo)

I've had a really tough couple of weeks. My kids have been sick with pneumonia and now Allen has been barking for about two weeks, so he's going to the doctor tomorrow, and now I feel a little funny like I'm catching a cold. But what really has me upset, is something that I did that was so stupid. I was bottle feeding four puppies, two cocker spaniels, one toy poodle and a shih tzu. All are about the same age and were having loose stool, so I mixed up some amoxicillin for them; they had been on it for several days and were doing better. Well, I drew up all four doses in one syringe and gave the shih tzu his dose first and the syringe stuck and I pushed harder and all the medication went squirting into his mouth. I tried wiping it out but he swallowed immediately. I thought to myself, well it is a safe antibiotic; he'll be okay. Well, that evening his diarrhea had returned, only it was like water and he was throwing up. I thought, "oh no, this is Parvo", but it didn't look like Parvo or smell like Parvo (if you've ever seen a puppy with Parvo you'll recognize it instantly; they smell of death and have very bloody stool.) I was so worried, because I knew that if he had Parvo; then the other three would get it over the next two weeks. Well, I began treating him for Parvo; I injected him with fluids every four hours just to keep him hydrated, and I felt like he was getting better, but then late Friday evening (after all the vets were closed) he started whinning and crying, like they do before the die. I wrapped him in a puppy pad and held him and rocked him and told him everything would be okay. I prayed so hard that he would recover, but if he couldn't get better for him to please pass quickly and not suffer. Then he started swelling and retaining fluid. At that point I knew it was not Parvo and I began searching my mind for what it could be and I thought of the Amoxicillin from the day before. I looked up Amoxicillin overdose and the symptoms included water like diarrhea, and fluid retention from not urinating. I felt so relieved that none of the others would get sick, but so sad that I had accidentally done this to him. He was of course my favorite; so sweet and so gentle, just an adorable little ball of fur with a flat face and big eyes. His name was Kermit and his best friend the Poodle is Miss Piggy. Piggy is so lonely without him, but she has bonded with Chloe and Drew and they romp and play in the kitchen.

I learned a valuable lesson from this. From now on I will put my medication in a little cup and draw up one dose at a time. Me trying to save time cost that sweet little puppy his life and that is a mistake that I never want to make again. Why do some lessons have to be so hard? I know, it is part of our growth and character development. If life was always easy, fun and happy then we wouldn't have much depth of character. Even in my sadness about the puppy, my first thought was to thank God for having the pleasure of caring for Kermit and to thank him for the health of my children and family.

Doggie NICU

I've been bottle feeding puppies for 12 weeks now. Allen jokes that my kitchen counter is a puppy neonatal intensive care unit. I have it all set up with plastic boxes, heating pads and a heat lamp. So far we've saved a cock-a-poo, cocker spaniel, five Boston Terriers, a toy poodle, a shih tzu and a Jack Russell Terrier. I love feeding and taking care of them. It is like having an infant to love and nuture, only you don't have to listen to it crying or rock it half the night, and you can just stick it in a box for four hours after you feed and potty it. I'm going to really miss doing it when I go back to school, of course I just might sneak them to school in a vented pet bag and feed them in the bathroom during my break. Of course I wouldn't be able to sneak them into the hospital during my clinical days. Maybe Allen or Amy will do it for me.

Going to School!!

Well, we've made it through the first two days of Chloe and Drew's preschool experience. Drew is doing a little better each day. At the orientation he screamed "I want my GanMa!!!" over and over again, so that he could be heard through out the school. He cried the first day for about 10 minutes and stopped crying very quickly this morning. I managed to make it to the car today before I began crying; unlike yesterday when mom and I both break out into tears before we leave classroom. It is so hard leaving them. Chloe is so mature and doesn't mind staying, but Drew looks so sad and it makes it so hard. He enjoys it once he accepts that he has to stay and he talks excitedly about his day when I pick him up each afternoon. His teacher said that he should quit crying within two weeks. I hope he adjust sooner. Now I have about six weeks before I begin nursing school; the thought of all that work makes me want cry too.

More Funny Stuff from the Kids

Me no cowboy; me cowman!!!! (Drew)


Mommy, now that I'm four years old I'm almost grown-up. Look, I have more hair growning on my arm! (Chloe)


(At bedtime) Daddy, you have Smell-A-Bella (doggie) breath; (the next morning) Daddy, you have dinosaur breath!! (Chloe)


Mommy, how does the egg get out of the chicken? (Chloe)


I'm just going to cut this TV off until I'm in the mood to watch it! (About a minute later she turned it back on)


Dat dog food tastes like broccoli. (Drew)



Mommy you go scoop (kitty) poop or me gonna scoop poop! (Drew)


If you see a dinosaur outside you should back away and go inside the house! (Chloe)



Drew it is my turn to be the Teeth Rex dinosaur! (Chloe)



Me not mommy's baby; me you BIG boy! (Drew)



Daddy you were really good outside today; you only fussed at Drew one time. (Chloe)

Gone to the Dogs!

This is a typical morning at my house. Chloe curled up watching cartoons with the doggies hanging all over her. The toy rat terrier under her chin is Bella. (Nick-named Smell-a-Bella because she finds every disgusting thing in the yard and will roll in it, if we don't watch her. The very worst was when she found the spot that I dump the cat litter.) The chocolate and tan Chihuahua is my baby, Chi-chi; she will see me get the car keys and wait at the door to see if I'll let her go. Chloe is so funny; she'll say something like "Chi-chi, Walmart is not a drive through, so you can't go!" and the larger rat is Allen's weird dog, Sneaky Peaches, whom we call Sneaches. All the other dogs prefer me, but not this girl; she loves Allen. He pretends to beat-her up every night before bed and she just takes and even seems to enjoy it. They are so funny; the other morning Allen made an egg sandwich; took two bites off of it and went to the bathroom. When he returned the sandwich was gone and all three dogs were licking their lips. They are a constant source of amusement and affection. We loves these three girls. I just wish we had room indoors for all our dogs, and then again. Maybe not.

Christmas 2007

Christmas was a lot of fun this year. Chloe and Drew helped put up the tree about a week before. (No need to have it up long, less time for them to destroy it). I let them put ornaments on the tree and Drew filled the bottom branches with them. (I bragged on how great it looked and rearranged it after they went to bed).

My mom's house was decorated really great this year; she puts so much time into it and we all enjoy it every year. I took some great photos of Chloe in her Christmas dress around mom's tree; I'll have to post them as well. Drew's Christmas picture did not turn out so well. He refused to change clothes and when I made him; he got angry and would not let me take his picture. I finally got two shots of him crying beside the tree and I gave up. No amount of coaxing, sneaking or waiting or anything would do. He's in the middle of the terrible two's and he'll fall in the floor kicking and screaming and stomping over just about anything, so we just step over him and keep going. Oh well, I kind of like the one with his mouth open and one big tear rolling down his cheek; it looks like he's hollering "Stop it Mommy!!!" He was probably saying "Me no love you!! Me no like you!!" He tells me that a lot and my answer is that he doesn't have to like me; he just has to listen to me!

Chloe asked me every morning for the first 25 days of December if today was Christmas and I was so glad to finally be able to tell her yes. She was so excited; Drew was more laid back about it. Allen and I were up until midnight wrapping everything for Santa and then withing 30 minutes on Christmas morning they had opened over a dozen presents and then they were really excited to see Grandma and Granddaddy coming with more.

It would have been an almost perfect Christmas, all that was missing was my brother, Evan. Next year, if it be God's will, we will have our perfect family Christmas and we'll have so much for which we are thankful.

2007 has had its ups and downs, but there has been so much happiness and so many unexpected blessings this year. I am so proud of two of my brothers; it is such a pleasure to know them and words cannot express how thankful I am for how God has tranformed their lives. Love you Greg and Evan!

Not Enough Hours in the Day

I thought that while I was out of school I would have all this free time to play with the kids; spend time with my family, enjoy my animals and write in my blog, but I was wrong. I'm actually more busy now than ever. I have two children that demand almost constant attention. A blind husband that still casually tosses things around as if he can see to find them, and lets not forget that I have more dogs and cats than your local animal shelter. I have three house kitties (and one on the way if she tests negative for PKD) and then there are two yard kitties. Then there are the dogs. Let me stop and count them. We have Pepper, Spot, Comet, Goldie, Mister C., Misty, Molly, Missy C. and Sami, that covers the rat terriers. Then there is Libby and Lilly the Bostons, and Lilly's two week old pups, two little fatty females. Then we have Lady Bird my American Bulldog (still need to write that story) and our other bulldog Jade (there's another tale to share), plus Jade's sister who was sold until I received an email today and was told to keep the $250 deposit tragically someone has died and they have to travel to Puerto Rico for who knows how long, so I've got to find a new home for her and last but not least there is Happy, another bulldog looking for a new home (yet again another entry). I've had tons of calls and emails, just nobody wants to drive any distance to meet her. So, how many dogs does that make? I count 18, but lets not forget that Sami is about to squeeze out a litter any day now and little Misty will have her first litter in another month. It is really crazy around here sometimes, but our lives are so full. I enjoy ever animal I own, and I think they are happy too. They don't dig out of their kennels or try to escape and they act so happy everytime we come out, even though we're outside a dozen times a day. We hold them, pet them and love them. I took five different ones walking today, not counting letting Lilly run around the yard. I brought her inside in a kennel to have her pups and she's still inside with us. She's such a great house dog; I hate to send her back out, but it is almost time for Sami to move in and they do not get along,actually none of my ladies like each other, guess you don't call 'em bitches for nothing, so Lilly and her fat pups will head out to the barn in a cozy little cedar shaving filled box with a heat lamp. Chloe is going to be heart broken. She and Drew sneak in and hold the pups everytime I take Lilly outside to potty.

I don't know why I've rambled on about my dogs. I guess because it is almost 1:00 am and my brain is really tired. I've been keeping a hand written list of things to write about and I promise to share some funny Chloe and Drew stories and of course write about Christmas really soon.